another letter not sent...

[machinery]

Marie-

12:30 the clock shows...I wonder about you - a lot - my nights swim in you. (( Earlier today - when I was with you - in class - walking the quad -- I noticed you more than ever. Your eyes - the blue seemed to run innocent into the morning (white horses against a spring forest) - your hair rolled in the wind - the sky - your flag of auburn glistened against little light the day had... the gloomy warmth made your jacket lazy on your shoulders - unzipped and comfortably laying open, showing your maroon shirt, snug against your bosom and belly - reminding me of your tight form (fit and slender you were) (smooth travel my tongue had over you) The table we sat at - once in that time - we both layed our cheeks against the table top -- and for an instant you closed your eyes and I lost my valiant - the armor came down - you opened your eyes breifly after and we wandered into each other's view...but why did you turn away -- So much so much my hand wanted to reach across and meet with yours ... ))
-- I wonder now what was against the walls of your thoughts - what made you look - what made you turn away --
-- But now tonight - you come to my closed eyes...clips and images, smiles and laughs - in this way you sway - no other nights are different unless something else bothers my system (fashioned with alcohol, pills and...) - sleep easy when I pass out - it's hard to sleep otherwise -- you in my awaken head tragedies - the only positives are the past - nothing from this recent - between you and I - because we can't speak of comfort - of present tense manner - there is no more beauty in our words - that we exchange...

-- look, I dont even want to finish this, I've spent too many - of everything on this moment, of you and I that held most near to the beats in my chest -- and don't think I won't continue...it will be you that I will never forget - it's just hard to maintain myself with these days, nights, weeks & weekends, now ongoing months -- without you...

[This message has been edited by machinery (edited April 01, 2001).]

[ranter]

i was kinda of reluctant to like this at first, just like all the other poems about girls (or girl), but i liked how you shaped this one, you showed your your weakness, your invincibily, your mortality. then at the end...i dont even want to finish this... maybe a step at growth. i also like the train of thought process, you tell us everything that your thinking to give the reader the same frame of reference that you have so we know what to be thinking....but all in all, still this isnt one that i would call a favorite.

[machinery]

yep, truthful and sad man, you hit it..exactly......and this (these works, these words) is all I have....all I can say to her, because no way can I express myself physically to her...it's unreal how much I freeze when I see her or meet her in her way of the day...that's why I capture the moment so well and leave nothing out...because that moment...the moment of being completly uncomfortable...(for both of us)...really gets under my skin, my way....and she's in me unbelievable....this, these works, is all I have..and I will never stop writing about this, about her...oh apologies marie

[parch]

"there is no more beauty in our words - that we exchange..." - hit hard here and kept it through the end, well written tragedy of reality. i wish i could put it out like this, i wish i could make it as real in word as it is in me. you seem to do that. i heard you speaking the last bit "--look...." and it was so truthful and sad.

___---parch